I Wanted to Live

Pixabay/tastefulmind

After eight years of marriage, we had bad problems. A lot of drinking and parties had destroyed our trust in each other. Our marriage was at the point of breaking up. It was so bad, Liz was thinking about ending her life.

I kind of thought about it, too, but I was scared. There did not seem to be any way out for us.

Then something happened to Liz that gave us both hope.

I was born and raised in Cormorant, a small Native community along the railroad in northern Manitoba. The Bible was never read in our home, but we did go to church once in a while. My parents figured as long as we went once a year and did our duty, that was good enough. Our lives knew no inner peace and we were always filled with fear of something.

One fear I can think of, as a child, was the end of the world. I remember having dreams that everything was going to end with a big bang and a crash and that was it.

Where were we going to end up, in heaven or hell? Did I really live good enough to make it to heaven? Deep down inside I wanted to live a good life, yet I knew I couldn't. Sometimes after confession, I would try to live for God, but I never lasted a day. That is the kind of bondage I was living in.

Then came the time my father, my girlfriend Liz's father and her brother, and another man burned to death in a house fire. I was pretty shook up. I could easily have been in that same fire. The shock of their deaths made me think about God for a while, but not very long.

I was going with Liz at that time. After the fire, I said, "Liz, we're getting married soon." Our wedding was a month later, on August 18.

But after eight years of drinking and fighting, we were at the end of our ropes. That is when Liz found help, and our lives began to turn around. Unknown to us, Liz's brother had told some Northern Canada Evangelical Missions (NCEM) missionaries in the area that the Lord was beginning to work in Liz's heart.

These missionaries came and shared the gospel with her and she accepted the Lord. Liz never let me catch her at it, but after that she started reading her Bible and having weekly Bible studies in the afternoons when I wasn't home.

It was in May when Liz accepted the Lord. After that, there was such a change in her life I couldn't believe she was the same woman. I loved what I saw, and I tested it, too. I did everything I could to get her to come back to parties and stuff like that, even though deep down in my heart, I wanted her to be true to what she had. A couple of times she came with me, but she would leave after a while.

On my birthday, I went for one last big drunk. The next morning I was really sick. I got out of bed, and it felt like my heart was going to stop. I hit myself in the chest, and then went walking outside. I felt terribly sick and felt like dying. I remember walking around a sawdust pile next to an old sawmill. As I walked around, I knew my wife had something different.

I began to talk to God. I said, "Lord, let me live. Let me be just like my wife, whatever she has."

At that moment, something happened. Somehow I knew I was going to live. From that time on, I never touched a drink again. And about two weeks later, I quit smoking, too. All this was happening in my life, but still I had not told anyone about it, not even my wife.

A little while later we were travelling to a funeral in Cross Lake. I had a shell on the back of my truck, and there was a couch inside. On the way home, my cousin was driving. Liz and I and the kids were all in the back. The kids were singing songs about Jesus, the kind you learn in Sunday school.

I was sitting beside my wife. At that moment, the Lord seemed to say, "Now is the time. You have to say something about your faith."

I wrestled with that for a while. It was the hardest thing for me to do in my life, but finally I turned to my wife and said, "Liz, I want to follow the Lord."

When I said that, the burden was lifted off me and I felt peace! All I needed to do was say with my mouth what I already believed in my heart.

After that truck ride, things really changed. I stopped buying booze and cigarettes for my friends, and I stopped going to parties. Of course, when I did that, all my friends dropped me. Nobody came around anymore. It was lonely for a while, but we would not let the devil discourage us.

Since there were no other believers living in Cormorant at the time, we were starving for fellowship. We used to get into my truck and go to The Pas. But every time we were getting ready to go, it seemed somebody would come by to try to get us to do something else.

Once a week after that, one of the missionaries would come for a visit and a Bible study. Not long after that, Liz started to have a Sunday school in our home. What we knew is what we taught. She did it on her own for almost a year. I just helped her along a little. The Bible studies and Sunday school in our home never did stop until we got a building for a church.

The Lord gave me more friends than ever, not only here in northern Manitoba, but around the world. And the Lord cleared up our marriage problems. Through the years, we had to work things out that happened in the past. For a while they kept coming up during arguments. But as we brought them out and talked them over, they were put away forever.

Bert & Liz Genaille were regular guests on Tribal Trails since broadcast, sharing their life stories and their music. They served full-time in pastoral and music ministry. Bert passed away in 2021, and is survived by Liz and their five children and their families.